Since my last post, things are different… yet again. Except now, it’s better than I could have expected. I did something that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile. I … Continue reading I Regret Not Raising You…
I wonder if you know how my stomach drops, my pulse quickens, and my chest tightens with each letter I type to you? I get so incredibly nervous when I … Continue reading Communication Anxiety
Between the hours of 3AM-5AM… It never fails. Every. Single. Day. I wake up thinking of her and this hellish, soul-sucking reality. It doesn’t matter what I do, that’s what happens. … Continue reading Like Clockwork…
In my mind, I was going to get to see her often. It would be okay, maybe tough, but okay? Since I wouldn’t be with her, I wouldn’t bond with … Continue reading Dreams vs. Reality in this “Open” Adoption
I will never forget that day. I remember waking up with contractions in the middle of the night. If my memory serves me correctly, I was sleeping on the couch, … Continue reading Birth Day Story
I never named you. I literally never sat down and started trying to pick out names for you, that seemed too intimate. I detached myself from the very beginning, trying … Continue reading I didn’t name you.
I’m Not Selfless. I’m Selfish. Society needs to end this whole false construct of the “selfless” birthmother. There’s nothing selfless about giving up on your child. There is nothing selfless … Continue reading The selfless birthmother… And other adoption crap.