I often ask myself this question, and throughout the years, the answer seems to morph as I face myself, my truth as a maturing human being. The older I get, … Continue reading Why DID I Give You Up?
Since my last post, things are different… yet again. Except now, it’s better than I could have expected. I did something that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile. I … Continue reading I Regret Not Raising You…
I wonder if you know how my stomach drops, my pulse quickens, and my chest tightens with each letter I type to you? I get so incredibly nervous when I … Continue reading Communication Anxiety
Between the hours of 3AM-5AM… It never fails. Every. Single. Day. I wake up thinking of her and this hellish, soul-sucking reality. It doesn’t matter what I do, that’s what happens. … Continue reading Like Clockwork…
In my mind, I was going to get to see her often. It would be okay, maybe tough, but okay? Since I wouldn’t be with her, I wouldn’t bond with … Continue reading Dreams vs. Reality in this “Open” Adoption
I will never forget that day. I remember waking up with contractions in the middle of the night. If my memory serves me correctly, I was sleeping on the couch, … Continue reading Birth Day Story
I never named you. I literally never sat down and started trying to pick out names for you, that seemed too intimate. I detached myself from the very beginning, trying … Continue reading I didn’t name you.